Well, it's all over. My 2nd year of facial frolics and stubble stimulation has reached it's grand finale. The fruits of my labour (or lack thereof) have resulted in what can only be described as a thoroughly agreeable whisker conurbation which has the consistency of a well pruned privet hedge. Ok, I would very much liked to have been able to craft a Dali and sit in meetings twiddling the tips whilst ruminating on the present challenges, but I have to accept that there is only so much one can do in a month.
I think, as my final post, I should take some screen space to outline what I have learnt over the past month, so as to guide potential Mo-Bros of future years:
1) Never over-estimate the potential of your Mo. Every face has bald spots that will get in the way of the perfect style and are want to leave you feeling facially despondent.
2) Don't confuse a Faux Mo with a Pro Mo. You're bound to cause offence.
3) Don't covet thy neighbour's Mo. Mo envy will only lead to low self-esteem and misery.
4) Don't use your Mo to justify being creepy. Get help.
5) Do check your Mo for bits of food, and general matter, regularly. Picking bits out of your Mo and eating them in public, will make you look creepy (see point 4).
6) Porn stars no longer have Mo's. Having a Mo is not legal justification for being an office sex-pest.
7) Don't suggest that women of Mediterranean heritage join you in growing a tash for a month. It is almost certain to cause chagrin.
8) Tweed and Mo go together well; plus-fours are a step too far and will get you ejected from working men's clubs.
9) Velcro and the Mo have a lot in common. Learn from the velcro and don't make mistakes with your Mo.
10) Used discerningly, the Mo really does encourage men to get their bits checked out.
So what now? Well, unlike so many men who couldn't wait to grab their razor on 1st December and remove the fruits of their tash-nurturing with great abandon, I have become strangely attached to mine and am somewhat reluctant to say goodbye. Perhaps I have come to that juncture in a man's life, shortly before a mid-life crisis, when I need to consider moving from being a Faux-Mo to a Pro-Mo? Whatever the future of my upper lip may hold, I have posted a montage of the previous month below so that any who wish to can experience my growth with me, in the short space of 8 seconds.
Keep it well groomed kids.